Am I the only one on here on here becasue I have been in an abusive depedndant relationship?
I am new here and am being battered by a guy now for over a decade. He lives in NYC. I live in VA. He helps me financially but not without a control game. I am trying to overcome the fear of his anger and rage. It's my faut too becasue I stuck it out with him after being passed around and moving so much as a child/adult. He has no coping skills and blows up over me ordering a pizza, (this is very small example, but to get an idea). I need support and advice. I have put on 50 lbs after the death of my boy and his abuse. Please help.I am overwhelmed with anixtey and depression.

Hey Deb,

Welcome to the fourm, I think you will get alot of great advice and support here. If you have ordered the program it will be a tremendous help as well. I certianly do not know your story but what I do know is that no person should be in a abusive relationship. I hope by learning the tools in this program and the support you recive on the fourm you will find the strength to get away from him. You deserve better than that. Life is to short.

Post here often, if you need support or just have a question. The people here are super!

Take care of yourself,
Debbie

Debra,
Hugs to you and know that there are others of us here on the forum and in chat who have endured an abusive relationship; physical, mental or both. Chat clued me in to this bit of info. Makes sense too if you think about it a bit.

Looking back over the years, I have to now say that the anxiety and low self esteem are what got us into these horrible relationships. Then we allowed the situation to increase the anxiety and low self esteem by staying in it too long and then the depression sets in, or maybe some of that was there to begin with. And then again, we sometimes cling onto the relationship because of the A and D, and use it as a reason not to move on. It stinks, the whole thing, but it doesn't have to be the pattern of your life, even for one more day.

Nope, (just guessing what you might wonder)
I left him 16 years ago and there is no way that I would tolerate another relationship like that again. Took therapy to leave. Actually I decided to leave and went to therapy to speed up the process. Problem was, I let the past wounds stick with me and didn't totally heal for many years. Then I did the program.

Now, I finally have more self esteem than ever before in my life, am proud of myself every day, have forgiven my ex, have forgiven myself for allowing someone to treat me that way AND
have no more panic attacks, and have wonderful coping skills that allow me to live a much more content and peaceful life.
By the way, I'm remarried to a great guy who would never dream of treating me in an abusive manner.
Get your financial independence!!! Go out there and make it happen. Nope, not easy, but possible.
Stop trying to just overcome your fear of his anger and rage. Why tolerate it at all? Learning not to react or to under react to his temper tantrums will definitely help. He can't control you with his anger if you don't overreact to it. By not reacting you can take the power out of the anger. This is from a distance??? Even if not, take control of your own life.

Huge hug to you break here.

Hey, I know it's not easy, but I needed to get that out too, just to let you know that you can do it. I have no tolerance for such violations of the mind. body and spirit.
It may not happen right away, but I pray for your sake that this abuse does not exist any longer for you soon. Either by you ending this relationship or him getting struck by lightning. OOPS did I write that?
PM me anytime. God bless.

HI, I'M GOING THRU A BITTER DIVORCE AFTER LEAVING MY HUSBAND OF 25 YEARS. I OVERLOOKED ALOT FOR THE SAKE OF MY FAMILY, BUT THE MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE JUST GOT SO BAD THAT I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF. I'M HAVING FINANCIAL PROBLEMS,CAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO WORK, AND MY HUSBAND HAS TURNED MY ONE MIDDLE SON AGAINST ME. I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE LAST FALL AND HE WON'T ANSWER MY PHONE CALLS- HE'S AWAY AT COLLEGE. I TRYED EVERYTHING I COULD TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE, BUT ONE PERSON CAN'T DO IT ALL, ESPECIALLY IF THE OTHER ISN'T INTERESTED. MY HUSBAND RESISTED ANY EFFORTS TO SAVE OUR MARRIAGE AND NOW BLAMES ME FOR LEAVING "THE FAMILY"- I ONLY LEFT HIM- SO I HAVE A LOT OF ANXIETY WORRY GUILT AND DEPRESSION BECAUSE OF ALL OF THIS- I'M REALLY HOPING THAT THIS PROGRAM CAN HELP ME.