Hey, This is my first time posting. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 17 and am now 28. I work full-time and am able to hide my OCD from most people, although those closest to me know about it. I have a paralyzing fear of hurting others -- the worst fears involve my fear of hurting my boyfriend who I love so dearly and children. Seeing knives in my home is terrifying. My fear of hurting kids is so overpowering I've resigned myself to never having kids and I avoid being alone with kids in my family if at all possible. I don't drive for fear of hurting someone. I fear I'm some sort of monster. Recently I walked into a store and bought flowers. But somehow that night I became convinced I had robbed the store and had to go in the next day to be sure I hadn't. Then every subsequent store I entered that day I feared I would rob -- I bit my lip to make sure I wouldn't say anything criminal. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, what types of treatments have been helpful? I've been on meds for years but it doesn't stop the thoughts. Thank you so much, Liz

Hi Liz, I think the fears you experience are more common than you think. I believe the very fact you are aware of your fears will actually keep you from ever doing them. For instance your fear of hurting children. The very fact you are aware and take precautions shows you would never do such a thing. I hope this has helped in some small way, Bruce

Hello Liz,

Stagerlee is right, the fears you described are quite common. I thought you might like to check one of the many threads on this site about this very thing. The thing that has helped me the most is learning about the disorder. The post at the link I've provided has several links to sites that were helpful to me.

http://bbs.stresscenter.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/372105472/m/9411070563

Liz-

You are not ALONE! I have the same types of thoughts, I have a fear of hurting myself and others. I too, am afraid of knives and other sharp objects in Fear that i will hurt someone/myself.....Hewre is what i am doing with these thoughts now. I try and put a twist of humor in it...When the thought starts to come in, I thinkk, hmmm.........WHAT IF i stabbed them with a bananna...lol....sounds stupid i know, but you know you can't hurt someone with a piece of fruit..lol...a bananna is squishy, its NOT possible to hurt them with that. I know these thoughts frighten you, as they do me, and I am not a pro at this, but the fact that you actually FEAR the thought, proves that it is an obsessional thought that you WILL NOT act on. People who act on theses thoughts don't fear them they become excited with the thought. So you can KNOW that these thought scare the beegebeers out of you but you can also know that they are not the TRUTH. Thoughts are just thoughts they can NOT and will NOT hurt you. Thoughts are not your actions. I know it seems easier said than done! Yikes I get scared too, I am trying to put humor in some of the thoughts. I actually am doing a little exposure therapy with myself. Something I fear, I will walk into-Yes does it cause more anxiety, ABSOLUTELY...the FEAR is WORTH walking into though. PM me anytime if you would like.

I hope I was some help to you!

Patricia

What's really interesting is Lucinda had this EXACT same obsession. She couldn't be around knives, thinking she would spontaneously grab one and start stabbing her family. She recovered, therefore, you can too. I've found in my own experiences (controversial topic), that meds help very little with anxiety disorder. If anything, they seem to exacerbate the problem. The only way out I've ever heard is the attacking anxiety program or similar programs that utilize the same cognitive behavioral procedures.

Hi ya Liz!

I am truly sorry have been going through these OCD thoughts for over 10 years.

My friend went through the same thing with his wife and himself. That was over 6 years ago and they are both fine. The fact that the thoughts bother you is a sign this is pure-o OCD.

I offer a link to a thread on scary thoughts. I mentions my friend and others with the same concern. It also has great input from others (like you have received here.) I hope this helps.

http://bbs.stresscenter.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/372105472/m/4691056423

Hey Liz,
Every once in awhile I will have these kinds of thoughts. I especially have one about guns. I'm afraid of hurting myself or others with them. I don't even own one! I use a lot of positive affirmations. Such as "I am a responsible person, I am a loving person, etc." The ones that really work for me are ones that move me to tears. I just keep saying them over and over. Hang in there!

I have struggled with anxiety and panic at an extreme level 5 years ago. However I thought I had it under control until a few weeks ago. I have been battling racing thoughts about hurting/killing myself and they came from nowhere. This has made me very anxious/panic and even depressed. I know that I would never do this however, due to the fact that these thoughts are taking over my head at the time it feels so real and true. I had this crazy thought randomly that I would committ suicide (every time I spell the word it makes me natious) the day before my wedding. This was just a random thought that I has consumed my life for the past week. I can't get rid of it and it scares me. I try to kick it and get excited about the wedding or my life but every time I do it brings me back to this awful thought! This makes me very depressed! I was never like this. Every time I think I am feeling well my brain tells me that I am just getting comfortable with those thoughts which scares me. Why would I think this or obsess about something I know I wouldn't do . HAS ANYONE GONE THROUGH THIS!

I can relate. Over 30 years ago when I had my children I was afraid I would hurt them. After many years of worry I was started on Paxil and Straterra. I have OCD, ADHD, Bipolar disorder, and anxiety disorder and take meds for all of them.