After many years of dating I'm finally in a relationship with a wonderful man. However, I'm having obsessive thoughts about him that are making it very difficult for me to enjoy my life. My therapist says that I'm overgeneralizing past negative experiences I've had with men to my current situation (I've dated a lot of men who have lied to me about things and I'm very afraid of this happening). Has anyone out there had a similar experience while in a relationship?

Hey KayJ

My friend who suffered with pure-o, his first scary thought (actually it was dream) was that he physically hurt his wife. I won't go into details of the image. This occured 3 or 4 months after he got married. It was his first (and only) marriage to the girl he had the best relationship ever in his life.

After he went for outpatient treatment and the scary thought was no longer scary to him, he wondered if the dream/thought was symbolic--not hurting her physically but hurting the marriage. Several months before he married he started getting obsessive thoughts that he was going to cheat on her, something he would do only if a gun was pointed to his head. He had low-self esteem most of his 20's when it came to women. Also he spent his late 20s until his mid 30s looking for Ms. Right. He had alot of romantic heartaches. After treatment he speculated that finding Ms Right after a 10 year search combined with his poor history may have resulted in the scary thought.

Hi Kay,
There are probably more people who have anxiety and/or depression that carry past baggage with them than not. Count me as one. I did that all the time in the past, but have learned not to and the relief is awesome. Peace at last.

OCD can be obnoxious. Congratulations on getting the program and doing something about it!!!

Try this - instead of trying and hoping (from your profile for the first two) -
"I'm working on this program to help myself"
"I'm going to get control over this OCD, and this program is helping me to do this."
"I've started working in a new forward direction for my life"
" I don't have to let my past control my present and I'm about to learn how to change my habits"

You know your therapist is right and now you're doing something to change that habit. That's all it is , a bad habit.

God bless and hugs to you!!!!