3 times on my first day.

I have 'Obseesive anxiety', as my doctor called it.

I worry about things that MAY happen and also mentally punish myself for stupid things I've done in the past.

What I wish to ask is, is there anyone else here who repeatedly asks relatives and close friends the same questions,time and time again, for extra reassurance, although they have told you the answer?

Thanks.

Hi,

When I'm going through a nasty patch - anxiety wise - I will not believe my journal that overall the trend is one of improvement and I am a complete PITA to my close friends/family imploring that they drag up hard examples of my progress until I see the light again and the horrible spacy, fog like feelings have gone.
Then, I refuse to believe it is ever going to happen again !

Hello Philc
Yes, this is so me! I have a major decision I've been struggling with and I keep asking the same people what they would do and I keep getting the same answers!

Sometimes I do this because I want someone else to give me permission to do something, instead of just giving myself permission.

I think the trick is learning to give myself permission and reassurance, and stop worrying about what other people think of my decisions.

Just know you are so not alone!
Patti

Hi philc---Oh yea, this is one of my bigee's, what might happen-anticipatory anxiety! So far what I do is take it day by day and it takes alot of practice, but it does work. Sometimes if something I have to do is that same day I actually take it hour by hour. I'm getting the hang of it and it is much more relaxing.

I used to ask people the same questions for reassurance but I've learned the best person to ask is myself. You have to trust yourself and love yourself enough to realize you know what's best or right or wrong for you. Believe in yourself It's your life and you must respect yourself.

If your afraid of making a bad choice or mistake, don't be. Everyone makes mistakes. I know that's hard if your an A personality, but we have to realize we're only human, just like everyone else. I'm sure the people we're asking for reassurance from have made mistakes also, so you might as well put your trust in YOU.

You can do it! After awhile I think you'll find yourself feeling much calmer. It does take practice, so don't beat yourself up about it. Remember, baby steps.

Serene

Hi Serene,

I totally concur with all your comments but I have not yet learnt how to trust myself when I'm very anxious.

My self esteem is fine but when I am anxious and scared I don't feel safe within myself and thus continuously turn outwards to seek help. Today was a perfect example , I'm shaky over something I need to do on Monday ...and my boyfriend is away and my trusted neighbour is away so I purposely arranged for another friend to come and stay the night as I'm not happy to be alone when I feel anxious and shaky. Not that I have any idea what I'm scared of..
She's now tucked up in bed and I'm very alert - too much to consider sleep.

What's the trick for self reliance ??

Yes, repeatedly ask certain questions for reasurance. Just never thought of it as OCD and thus don't feel bad about doing it. I have understanding loved ones so it doesn't present a problem. However, my having to ask often shows I need to work on my negative thinking.

V.

Hi Radar---Just read your post today. The trick to self-reliance is practice, practice, practice!

Sometimes when I'm sick I want someone to be there and take care of me. I've learned to question myself like, "What are they going to do for me that I can't do myself?" It's really nice to have supportive people around you but it's also a good feeling when you believe in yourself and can comfort yourself.

I've listened to some tapes on the inner child, the little person inside you. I find that comforting that inner child helps to understand what it is you're afraid of. More in tune to you.

Louise Hay has lots of books and tapes on this subject. One that I have is The Power is Within You. Very comforting, soothing voice.

Hope this helps
Serene