This is my first post, it's probably going to be a long one, but here goes.

Does anyone else obsess about marraige like I do? A couple of years ago, I started praying about the qualities and characteristics I wanted in a husband, and as I prayed, a friend of mine would tell me about a friend of hers and "coinsidentally"(I say that because I don't really believe in coinsidents or however you spell it) she would mention some characteristics about this guy, and it would be like "Hey, I just prayed about that!" and this happened on numerous occasions, so I started to think that God was leading me towards this guy. There were still some things that I needed to work on, and I just needed to wait on the Lord and if it was His will than things would work out. Sounds good and dandy, but me being the obsessive thinker, analyzer, worrier that I am, I couldn't have peace about it, well over a period of time I did, but that rapidly changed.
After the end of a very rigorous semester, I spun into a deep depression as a result of poor choices and lack of planning for my future, and ended up with a lot of spare time on my hands, and subsequently, a lot of good ol' fashioned worry time. And what would I worry about, you ask? Yes, that is correct!! Marriage! It was at this time that this guy started dating a girl, who might I add, I thought/think is completely terrible (I know, not very Christian of me)and what bothered me so much, was that I could totally tell that this girl was all wrong for him, and friends of his would comment and say that he was just dating her to date her. Ahhhh! Well it's been about 2 years and from my knowledge, they are still dating!! You can imagine how "at peace" I am!
Hence the fact of why I write this post.I am just struggling with all of this and can't stop thinking about "What if they get married?" "How do I know I REALLY heard from God" "Maybe God has someone else? I really don't want someone else" "They're probably going to get married, she's so much better than I am, she's smaller and skinnier" "I'm a bad Christian for thinking this way, how am I ever going to get married?" "If I did such and such better, he would like me better"

I just feel hopeless about all of this, and I feel like I am acting/thinking like a child. I used to be so sure and so close to God about this whole situation, now I feel like I have no idea what is going on and so far away from God. Does anyone have any suggestions? Can anyone relate? I feel kind of crazy.

HI... I want to let you know I value your whole belief in God, and his will in ones life. I just read a book recently, about prayer and knowing Gods "true" will. Some times we can mistake our own for His. I really found it to be great! Name of book is "Prayer the Power Connection" By Henry Fernandez. Might be something for you to look into. Just remember...God wants to to be first in your life...not second best. Maybe in someway you are idolizing this guy, and well...God is a jealous God (and I mean that In a good way)
God Bless!

Psalm,

Just remember: God is always in control. Our minds are too small and narrow to understand the bigger picture. Maybe what we think is best really isn't. There is a reason why the two of you aren't together. Searching1975 brought up a good point: maybe obsessing about this guy is a form of idolitry. Try reconnecting with God. Pray, read His word, praise Him, and give thanks. I know how hard this must be. I also obsess about things too. Most recently, I've been obsessing about my upcoming breast exam. I fear that the doctor will tell me I have breast cancer. I just have to remember that God is ALWAYS in control. He has a plan for me and I have to give thanks in every circumstance because this is His will for me. I am here for His glory. I'll pray for you. Please pray for me as well.

Celeste

Hi, Psalm 18,
Even if this guy is for you, and I applaud you for seaching God's will, you still need to continue with life and what other options might be out there for you. For all you know this guy might be for you in 40 years! So what will you do in the meantime? Continue to seek God's will and look for confirmation of his desires for you and do so by considering the fruits of the Holy Spirit with regards to your actions. Gentleness, humility, peacfulness, chastity, purity, etc. There are many men our there after God's heart just as you. Involve yourself on campus or in your church with some activities and you never know who might turn up.

Psalm 18, I hold onto Psalm 18:22 for dear life! I have been through more than one girl in my mind of her maybe being the right one even if I didn't even date them. I have been waiting 36 yrs patiently and tried almost everything including trying not to look. Some people out there might be made to not ever marry, but thats not me at all. From my childhood/youth I thought that I would be married at a young age (early teens?). So many seem like they don't deserve the mate they have or even marriage itself. I have stayed as pure as one could be, as best a person that I could be, and I am a very handsome man (or so I tell myself) as many have told me. Married women who are not looking to cheat would tell me (in front of others) that if they were single at the same time as me that they would snatch me up in a heartbeat. Life isn't fair, yes I know that. But doing the VERY BEST in every situation makes us ready for the next step. Remember that Gods plan for us is to follow Him at all times. There are good scripture verses to hold onto (I have learned that in every state to be content), thou wilt keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee and many more. So hang in there and remember to LOVE at ALL times! David

Thanks to everyone who responded! I really needed alot of what everyone was saying. I think I totally idolize this guy at times (if not more) but instead of realizing that God is in control, I beat up on myself for idolizing him, how could I do that? Unfortunately it's a bad habbit I've picked up, and will break.
I think I stepped outside of God's will, (am getting back on track now) but since I did that, I've began to view God as small and powerless, and I've become very good at manipulating situations(pr so I think I have) and this tends to make me think I can manipulate God, which I know is not true, but do you know what I am saying?

Anywho, about marriage, I just don't know what to do, I mean I know I have to wait, and maybe that's all I need to focus on right now is waiting, but I've heard so many different sermons and everyone has a different approach and I get confused on what exactly to do. Do I wait? But then God won't put him on your doorstep, so do I make an attempt to go and try to meet someone? Can I really wait on the guy to make the first move, will he? You know those Christian guys!! And I don't mean that in a bad way. Not to toot my own horn, but I am an attractive gal, and Christian guys don't approach me or talk to me, and if they do, they are the creepy ones. And it makes me think that something is wrong with me. Ahh, I don't know.

But now as I read back over your responses, God isn't first right now, and maybe I just need to work on that.

Well, again I appreciate your responses and thank you again. God Bless, everyone!

Right on Psalm! Get back on the right track of God being first in your life, Let him be the Man in your life first and foremost....then all things will follow according to his will. His word says so! I admit, I am guilty of not doing this as well! I always find out the hard way! When are we gonna learn! I pray this time I learn, and stay steadfast in his will!
Prayers,
Kelly