i am just wondering how many of you are really happy people? i am very happy with my marriage to my husband. i feel closer to him all the time. (we've been married just over a year). i am just wondering why i can't let myself be totally just happy with my life now? it's like i always am looking for something else that is wrong that i've done in the past or mistakes or something i feel guilty about. in previous posts i talk about the fact that i tell him everything about my past, uncomfortable thoughts, etc. i'm ocd so the confession trait is totally in on mode. just when i get something else out and think that could be it, i look for something else i should feel guilty about and then ponder if i should tell him. i do feel better once we talk but i have to stop this, it's almost like i'm addicted to finding stuff to tell him. and it's always so very hard for me to tell him some things i am not happy about over something i've done in my life. the thing is it's mistakes i made in college when i was young and learning about life. he's so understanding and knows if i have to tell him to feel better i can.


i just get afraid i'll end up pushing him away someday with all of my chatter. he knows how i am and i am the type of person who has to get things out to feel better. i feel guilty a lot and really have nothing to feel real guilty about.

how can i just let myself be happy with the great choice i have made for the rest of my life in marrying my husband? we really do have a great relationship and life layed out in front of us.

Pixie,

You know it's ocd. When you feel you "have" to do something or "say" something, it is an obsession and you can remind yourself that it's just ego having fun at your expense.

Exercise:
The next time you get the urge to tell all to your husband.....DON'T. Feel the discomfort that this new action brings. Your ego will rant and rave and make you feel rotten (but this is temporary) because what you are doing is making a change and taking control. It won't be long before the ego calms down and sees that you mean business. Don't judge the discomfort, just feel it, Pixie. It's OK to feel it and soothe yourself through this process. The little girl in you will feel fear but you are going to comfort her. Let her know it's OK. It's just from the exercise. It will pass.

After the feeling is over, write your experience down if you wish. Keep doing this exercise as often as you need to until pretty soon you see that it is no longer necessary to do.

There can be pain with our growth. It's OK. It will not last forever.

Also, when that urge comes to share with your husband, get a journal and write it down instead. Then put your journal away until the next time. (Don't try to fix anything. Just write the "urge" down.)

i can do that but my problem is that it will come back and then i go through it all over again, and wonder, should i tell him? i've been able to keep a few things in bc its stuff he wouldn't necessarily want to know. it does come tapping back and that is my problem. i want to totally rid myself of these things. i've even written down everything i feel bad about and burned it! it helped for a couple weeks. i have been able to stop some things just by saying to myself "i don't want to feel bad anymore about these things."

i'm totally off meds for 2 months now for the first time in 2 1/2 years. i had trouble while i was on them but it's a little more frequent now.

Boon -

You give the best advice. I tend to dwell on the past a lot and also on things that bother me. Such as things my mother says to me, things people have said to hurt my feelings, and also the fact that I'm 41 and still single. I just don't let things go. It's so hard for me to be happy because there are things in my life that I'm not happy with. Right now I'm very lonely and have been for a while. The thing that makes it worse is that I obsess about it and worry about it all the time. It's always on my mind.

I'm seeing a counselor and she wants to talk about these things that are bothering me. My question is: I'm not sure if thise is helpful because of my ocd tendancies (which she is aware of). I tend to obsess about things and I feel like if we continue to dwell on it...won't I obsess even more?

I do much better when I'm with people and since I have live alone for the past 10 years this has gotten progressively worse. Any advice??

How do I stop my mind from going..
Very tiring.....