Hi everyone, I am on lesson two and was doing really well and noticing great changes when my husband dropped a bomb on me, he was asked to participate in a terrific program for his job that just happens to take him out of town for a week. It also just so happens that my obsession of the moment is something terrible happening to me and leaving my children here with no one to take care of them. He works all day but I find it comforting to know that he will eventually be home but now he won't and I'm having a really hard time. I feel like I took a hundred steps forward when I started lesson two and the minute he gave me that news I took a hundred steps back, I started having panic attacks again and I am anxious non-stop I try to practice the six steps and they help but it seems like I'm doing them constantly! I'm just so frustrated, this couldn't have happened at a worse time, I don't think I'm ready. Any advice anyone?

There is NO time like the present to work on your anxiety and panic!!!!

I have been in your shoes only for longer periods of time without my husband. My husband was active duty Air Force and did these TDY's occassionally and being far from home with children and not having family to lean on was very difficult.

There is one difference though....I didn't have this program back then and I suffered tremendously and couldn't even enter a grocery store when he was gone because of severe dizzy spells.

Use your skills. Feel the anxiety about him being gone. It's NORMAL and you can allow yourself to feel weird when he's gone. Just remind yourself that you can handle this. Remind yourself that you will survive and you can take this time and use it at a practice opportunity.

I would recommend making a simple routine for yourself. Include exercise in your daily routine!! This will make a huge difference and help you sleep better at night. When you find yourself stressing, especially at night around the time he normally comes home from work, take that time to write in a journal, watch a movie or cook something new for yourself to eat.

You will be fine. You will see. You are alot stronger than you realize!

Taylex,

Just wanted to let you know that you are NOT alone in this. When is your husband supposed to be leaving? My spouse is out of town tonight, actually, and won't be back until Thursday night... Three whole nights! (I know, I'm such a sissy, huh?) When you have a spouse whose business takes them out of town often, you think you'd get used to it, but it drives me crazy every single time!

The only thing I can say that SMears hasn't said already is DISTRACTION, DISTRACTION, DISTRACTION! Let yourself feel anxious and know that it's ok, but keep busy! Think of things you can do in advance--projects that you've been putting off, a movie that you've always wanted to see, a good book--anything, just don't dwell on your husband being gone! Use that time to work on the program like crazy. (I know they tell you not to skip ahead, but I have, just for fun, on nights that my spouse was away--got in a hot bath and popped in a lesson that I thought might help with the situation; usually the ones on Obsessive, Scary Thoughts or What-If Thinking. )

Letting yourself feel the anxiety is ok, but don't let that be your main focal point. Allow yourself to have fun--think of the time your husband is away as "me" time. I know that can be hard, but it really makes it more bearable if you can put a positive spin on it in any way possible. I loved the way you worded your post---"he was asked to participate in a terrific program..." Thinking of it as an opportunity--as a good thing--instead of him just being away...that helps, too.

Sorry to be so long-winded. Just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one who feels this way! Hope this helps out some.

Take care!