Hi Friends.

I just almost bought a house..but am backing out at the last minute and feel terrible. Here is a summerized version of the story..HELP!

I'm 27. I owned a house with my boyfriend of 3 years who I broke up with April. He refinanced the house to get my name off and I moved in with my Mom. I have had a terrible time dealing with this breakup. It was a toxic relationship (he was verbally abusive, gambled and had anger issues). But still, I love him? HELP. I miss those good times. He was my best friend. Ugh, why can't I see how horrible he treated me and move on?

So anyway..I finally found a house I liked. I put a bid in on it and the sellers accepted. As soon as I got off with my realtor, I panicked. Can I afford it? "I want out" is what I said. I am terrified of all this responcibility and I don't want to live alone. Why didn't I think of this before putting my bid in?

So I called my best friend and we went over my finances. I have alot of credit card debt and with all my debt, I could afford the house but it would be super tight. So my friend advised to consolidate my credit card and get rid of my "toy" vehicle. My family says that maybe I just need to be ok with living with my Mom for awhile. That I can just live with her and get some debt paid down before I make the move. But am I backing out because of my fear of being alone? My fear of all the anxiety and panic this is causing me? Do I just need to bite the bullet and do it? Or do I follow my gut that I will have more anxiety over being alone, worrying about my finances, etc. Please help. Oh, and I also feel so guilty about what my realtor would think. And the homeowners. My realtor worked so hard for me the past 5 months. Ugh, I'm such a people pleaser.

P.S. I'm not on any meds. Used to be but want to fight this on my own. The meds only gave me nasty side effects.

Hi. I just read your topic on buying a house and backing out. My husband and I have decided to purchase a new home this month as well. I know we can afford it but this major decision has brought back my anxiety & depression. I have worried about the finances, my daughter's college fund, how I will find time to move, afraid I will cry in front of others during the move...and the list goes on. I have started crossword puzzles to keep my mind busy from worrying about all of these things and I have increased my exercise.

I am also worried that I will put forth my time and effort to this program and it won't help.

I would listen to my gut and not buy the house. It does not sound like you are in the right place, buying the house for the right reasons. It sounds as if you are overwhelmed with anxity right now and I would not care what the realtor thought. Buy them a gift certificate to thank him for his efforts. I think you should learn to deal with your panic reactions and then figure out where you want to live and with whom. I have had a pretty bad bout with anxiety lately and I am not using any meds really except a small amount of klonapin at bedtime. There are vitamins that I use that help alot also. You can overcome this.