OK, my OCD is on fire this morning... I woke up in the middle of the night diagnosing myself with Bi-polar disorder.... why? Because I am afraid that I am or will become bipolar at some point in time. I am seeing a therapist and have expressed these concerns in the past and he said that he would bet his reputation that I am not bipolar that I have anxiety/OCD... then why am I obsess with bipolar and the thought of having it? Anyone else have obsessed or scared of this and how do you deal with it. It seems everywhere I turn these days- I have bipolar. A person I know at work- just lost a child at the age of 40 that was bipolar- then another gal at work- her brother and sister are bipolar and then another gal at work- her brother and brother in-law are bipolar. So I have a fear of becoming bipolar because I am afraid that it would ruin my life, that I would not be a good mom to my child if I were bipolar, that I wouldn't be a good wife- the thought of having to take medication for life makes me want to throwup.... what is wrong with me.

Last night, when I decided to obsess about this again.... there two or three times in my life (I am 36) that when I had a really bad cold/flu- I felt that my thoughts in my head were racing and load- and sometimes a song would be stuck in my head- but then it would go away after a few minutes- has anyone ever had this? What causes it? I have read that this could be a sign of bipolar... I don't have any other symptoms. I am usually a person with alot of energy but not usually down. I usually never have trouble sleeping... I am an early riser (about 5:30 to 6:00) but then early to bed too.

Please help me.... this just SUCKS!!!!!!!!

Good morning want2be, It is just about bedtime for me, funny how the world just keeps turning around. I find myself afraid too. Afraid to go shopping or go to work or on a date or out with friends. I am currently working my first session and find the relaxation tape VERY helpful at times I need some reasurance and strenght. Intellectually I can see thru auto-suggestion, but I want to believe. Maybe it could work for you, that and a little prayer I am going to say for us all before I listen to my session and fall asleep this morning. They can't hurt right? I believe they will work. Good night, src

want2be: It does suck to have anxiety/OCD, but try to realize EVERYONE gets songs stuck in their heads (even happens to my 6 year old). Just because you had racing thoughts three times in your life does NOT mean you are bipolar. In my un-medical opinion, bipolar seems to be the "in" diagnosis these days. And someone once told me now they say you can have bipolar without being manic (so called hypomania, whatever that means). But I say, then wouldn't it just be plain old-fashioned depression? Or "uni-polar" or something? I have the same fear of being bipolar pop into my head. It was really bad last summer when my anxiety was off the chart, and I would look at my kids and think: "poor kids, their mom is undiagnosed bipolar...how messed up are they going to be?". But after going through the AA&D program, it has helped me so much, and now I can recognize these thoughts for what they are - just scary thoughts, and I can realistically assess my symptoms and see that feeling jittery and occasionally talking a little fast are signs of nervousness = anxiety, and NOT bipolar. Hope this helps.

Well your doctor told you that you don't so I would take your doctors word for it. Additionally, sleeplessMom is right about bi-polar being the "in" disorder today. Although that is debatable I hear about it all the time. However, I hear a lot of people say to me that they think they have OCD too; so maybe OCD is becoming the new "in" disorder. The media and hollywood (talk-shows Dr. Phil etc) bombared people with these issues everyday so it's not uncommon for many people to think they have one of the disordres at one time or another. either way this is irrelevant to your obession issue:

There are two things to think about here. 1) Bi-polar isn't always that bad and when it is it can be controlled and usually is and the person/persons' live perfectlly normal lives (this goes for many other mental illnesses too) 2) Instead of being afraid of being bi-polar why not say to yourself okay I am bi-polar so what? oh well guess i'm bi-polar I'll just have to learn to live with it and i'll be fine. Your obession is creating a number of what if's about what would happen if you were bi-polar: what if I'm bi-polar i'll never be able to live a normal life again, my children will hate me, i'll be locked away ... damn thats a lot of stress to put on yourself. Instead of **worrying/obessing/being nervous*** (<< anxiety/ocd) about the thought of being bi-polar learn to accept the thought and say oh well no big deal! life is too short to worry for hours whether or not you are bi-polar so just accept the uncertainty that you arn't and deal with the anxiety that follows. It'll work out just put to use the methods that are out there to help with this. THEY REALLY DO WORK!

Good Luck!

want2be, Do not be afraid. In 1992 I was diagnosed with ADHD. In 2000 with Bi-Polar II. I was in my 40's. I think still the hardest part of all this was that my mom never told me till I found out in '92 who my biological father was. She was engaged to one man but never married him. Why I believed her all those years that this man right in this town was my bio father I don't know. I've had problems all my life. My son-in-law whose not real close to me (relationship wise) had a talk with me the other day. He said "yea, your mother screwed you over good." I don't blame her as much for what she did, it happens all the time but she definitely screwed up my life by not telling me. My Dad who raised me wanted to tell me many times, even on his death bed but she wouldn't let him. It's been very rough but I survived and you will too. You may be worrying over something that's not even true. God made you the person you are and has a purpose for you. Songs going thru your head? Oh you should know. Now I've written some and thinking I won't remember the melody again, HA, then all day that's what I hear. It drives me nuts sometimes but when it's good songs, WHAT is the big deal? As Lucinda says, "It's NO BIG DEAL" or "thoughts just thoughts". You haven't been in the program long at all. Give yourself a chance. The world labels us, but God never does. In my Bible I have ADHD A daughter, He's my Healer and Deliverer. So often I forget then God uses me in spite of all the labels. I'm going to write you one of my songs and maybe you can apply it to your life.

GOOD DREAMS

Where do good dreams come from
they must come from God alone.
He has a purpose for you
because He loves you so.

He's given special gifts to you..
so you'd give to others too
He wants the world to know
That He loves you so.

So I ask what will you do...
with these gifts He's given you
Tell about the Gospel of Christ
Giving them eternal life.

Whatever label you've been given, use it for HIS GLORY. I get knocked down many a time but I make up my mind to rise again. I know you will too!

I also want you to check out "Battlefield of the Mind" in the spiritual section. I think it will be a great help to you. God Bless.

I wouldn't worry too much about a label for a disorder; whatever they call it, and whenever they come up with a name, you're still the same you and you've still had it for years. Now it has a name. So what? What's important is that your "list of symptoms" is recognized and addressed. I'm not downplaying BiPolar, because I am and it does mess with your head. But, you're here, and thats good. Many symptoms are shared among the diagnosis of OCD, Depression, BiPolar, Anxiety, etc. I'm new to all of this (being on line and talking about it), so I look forward to other peoples' feelings and experiences. I feel less alone.

my husband has the same exact symptoms as you. he has full blown ocd/anxiety. (our poor children i tell ya i have panic/anxiety and he has the other) but anyways, he read this book that helped him understand why he gets stuck on things. and how to get out of them. its called BRAIN LOCK.....do a google on it. also i think its on a list of books that help ocd i beleive. it was his savior . hope it helps you. xo

Want2be - Find out the symptoms of bipolar so that you no longer have to worry about it and so you will have soothing phrases to tell yourself when you begin to feel afraid. You do not sound bipolar to me. Obsessive thinking is not the same as bipolar. You have OCD. The reason why the worry of bipolar stays in your head is the nature of OCD. You're reaction to bipolar is a bad habit. If you would learn to underreact - to observe the concerns instead of being afraid of them you would begin to see that your thoughts are nothing more than thoughts - that's all. When you no longer react the obsessiveness will get weaker and weaker. Don't fight or resist the thought in anyway. Don't judge it. Just allow the thoughts to come and go. Be the observer of them. In time, you will notice they have less impact on you and you'll notice your body staying calm.

Have you been diagnosed with OCD? If not you should see a doctor. Psychiatrist preferrably. They will be able to help you with this obsession as that's what it sounds like. If you are obsessing about a particular thought more than 1 hour a day then you should seriously go. They will tell you what's up and possibly medicate you.

I am in the UK so finding it hard to get the course, but i have the same thoughts but thinking im scizophrenic...

I think its the same sort of thing. ...So your posting did to me.

Anxiety & ocd does this..

I hope it will make you feel better that over 10 years ago I obsessed I was really going to be schitzophrenic and the last couple years I too have obsessed over being bipolar. I think it is the new popular label. Trust me, you are just anxious and obsessing even though it doesn't "feel" that way. Brain lock is a great book. It really is about relabeling things and relaxing your body and mind.

Hi,
You're 'what if'ing' alot. What if I'm bipolar and can't be a good mom/wife etc. First off you haven't been diagnosed and secondly I have an aunt that is bipolar and with the help of medication functions like any other person. Even bipolar people can use the skills from the program to help themselves. Instead of obsessing over something you most probably don't have replace with positive obsessing like for example what you're learning from the program and the fact your psychologist said he'd bet his reputation that you are not bipolar. Most of what we worry about never happens. Here's a what if to consider....what if you keep worrying you are bipolar...and you aren't. Think of all the wasted energy you could've used being happy. Take care.