Good afternoon to all. I am just posting for the first time to introduce myself. I am just starting the program after over 30 years in the world of "what if". I have to say that after much thought there is a part of me that is scared of getting better. The thought of being responsible and people depending on me to do things again is frightening to me. I am looking forward to getting started and expanding my comfort zone. I wish everyone the courage and drive to stay with the program and the quality of life that you so deserve.
Harvest in circles
John

Hi John in Old Town & Welcome!
I can so relate to your statement:

"The thought of being responsible and people depending on me to do things again is frightening to me."

I've made my world smaller & smaller because of
the fear, of not being able to function consistently & of letting people down. I've dropped almost all of my volunteer work this year (I do tend to overextend myself).Before deciding that, I juggled the volunteer work with my periods of depression by shortchanging my family in terms of having a decent home & meals. I probably used these projects as a way to be excused from not handling the messes at home. The real truth is that eventually I was barely able to keep up with the responsibilities that I volunteered for too! Next, I've used lots of illnesses as the reason I'm not able to get it together. Yes, most of them are real but some I feel I have brought on myself. For instance, I have allowed myself to gain around 50 lbs in the last year! I've used food (particularly chocolate & baked goods) as a drug of choice.
This in turn has brought on a lot more health issue. I truly believe that in order to feel good again, this vicious circle has to be broke.

A day at a time, I will do my best.
Wishing you all the same!

hey john hope this finds you well i am glad you just started the program i am in week 4 and feel better than i have in years take your time and do it at your own pace i listened to session 3 at least 10 times do the work and keep on posting we are all here for you good luck