I doing week 12 and I don't really get it I have read the workbook and listen to the cd i get what Lucind's saying I really felt like I have changed so much since the beginning of the program that I just was hoping for some feedback

Lionsfan44

Congrats on making it so far. Don't feel too bad about not understanding, this seems to be the common response to this lesson. I'll try my best to help you understand but even if you don't get it now that is alright, you can always come back to this later.

The way that I made sense of this is that as live beings it is in our nature to avoid doing things that bring us pain/discomfort and go after the things that cause us pleasure. Now when we have anxiety and depression many many things start to become painful or discomforting and then we avoid doing them. Now when we start to get better we still avoid these things as if we are still deathly afraid of them or if we still don't have the energy to do them. We'd still rather have someone else take care of them because it's just easier.

Are there anythings you may still be avoiding? Do you tell yourself that anxiety is preventing you from doing something? Do you still put off chores or errands to go do more enjoyable things?

If it helps here are some of mine.

-I still use my anxiety as an excuse to clean the appartment and what positive thing do i get out of it? I can relax and conserve my energy.

-I use my anxiety as an excuse to not go talk to someone that i may find attractive and what i get out of it is I don't have to risk being hurt from rejecting in the moment.

-Anxiety is my excuse to not be assertive. I don't have to worry about stirring up the pot and possibly putting myself in an uncomfortable situation.

I still get positives out of all these things but if you really look at all of these examples, would I not be feeling even better and less anxious if i didn't use anxiety as my excuse and went for it? I'd feel better for getting my appartment clean instead of stressing over how i keep putting it off, I may actually find someone who likes me back and start a really great relationship and I'd feel alot better about myself if i stood up for my rights.

Does this help you out?

Mike

Session 12 gets us to look at our resistance to making changes and the different ways we do this. Is there something specific that you don't get, or are you confused as to what your secondary gains could be?

I don't really have any symptoms anymore. I went to the doctor (first time in 9 years) I would not drive anywhere I do that now I still have anxiety but its not in the front seat anymore I listened to tape 12 again last night I get what she is saying and maybe 10 weeks ago I would get it but I feel so much better now I go some whole days with out even thinking about anxiety.

This is prolly why you aren't getting it. You aren't resisting your limitations and that's great! You understand what the lesson speaks about and if you need the lesson in the future it will prolly connect better. It is also really awesome that you go days without thinking about it. That is a huge accomplishment

Mike