Hello. I've been suffering with anxiety and depression since I was a child. I've had many bad experiences in life which has led me to have a low self worth of myself, bitterness, and hurt. I sometimes have suicidal thoughts and they scare me because I know I don't want to do it and it just scares me to think about it. My negative feelings have turned me into a skeptic and I've been trying to deal with this on my own for so long that I feel that I am a lost cause. I want to do the program because I need help and I don't want to live like this anymore. I just feel afraid that what if it doesn't help and what if there's nothing that can be done for me. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me unconditionally and wants to help me. He tells me positive things but it just doesn't seem to be sinking it. It just gets so frustrating. I need help and I just wish I could get pass this. If anyone has ever felt like this please let me know. I would really appreciate it. Thanks.

Hi feelinglost!
I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time. I think we all on this forum have been there in some form as far as anxiety or depression. It is not an easy road to recover from, but it can be done. I don't know if you have the program or not, but Its wonderful. It has helped me so much and I thought nothing could. Try to keep your chin up. Im not sure if you are much on reading, Im personally not a big reader, but I read Lucinda Bassett's book "From Panic to Power" Its an awesome book. I checked it out from our local library and I was glued to it. It is so positive and uplifting, I could hardly put it down. I would highly reccomend you start the program. You have nothing to lose by trying it. Take Care!

Dear Feelinglost,

Your story parallels many others who are presently in the forum including myself who have in fact been freed from the shackles of anxiety and panic.

I assure you that there is nothing to loose from subscribing to the program�except your anxiety.

You are a very special, intelligent, compassionate person with much to offer the world� Please give the program a chance to prove these qualities to yourself.

You will be pleasantly surprised at how your skepticism will diminish�

Keep posting and welcome�.

Devad.

You need to stop being so hard on yourself! It is incredibly hard to recover from anxiety and/or depression, and you need to be gentle on yourself. You also need to realize that your "What if it doesn't work?" thoughts are just your anxiety at work. The program is based on CBT techniques which are the suggested first course of action for anxiety disorders--they have been proven to work, although it takes time. So your fears about this are just fears.

I totally understand what you are going through. It takes an incredibly long time and an incredible amount of work to change a lifetime of negative thinking. I honestly think it took me a year until soothing thoughts became automatic rather than something I had to force myself to think, and even now the negative ones creep back. But that's really not meant to be discouraging, because the fact is that if you do work at it and give yourself time, you will feel so much better!

I would like to thank those that have left me words of encouragement. I have taken up the 30 day trial offer and then will be billed in installments. Although my anxiety is making me feel like I can't get help I will do so with this program. I will force myself to take that step to recovery and stop denying myself the life I deserve to live. I know that it won't be easy and this is a hard battle but I just have to start changing my negative feelings, thoughts, and beliefs and to learn to not give in to my fears. I really hope that this program is the guide that I need to take on this challenge. Thanks alot for the support guys.

Feelinglost

I can totally relate to how you feel. Some words of advice I can tell you are that the reason the suicidal thoughts keep coming is b/c you are avoiding another unpleasant thought or feeling that you do not want to deal with. I know its kind of hard to understand. I have and am going though the same thing as you. Do you want to know what one of my main problems is that I am scared to death of. Its kind of silly but its a real feeling. I am scared to move out of my parents house and become an adult. I don't know how old you are or your living arrangements but a lot of my anxiety has to deal with being more independent. I feel like a lot of things I cannot do with out my parents...

You know whats weird, when I really think about it-the thought of suicide is scarier then actually being an independent person. There is no way that I really want to die..Its just I want these unpleasant anxious feelings to go away so bad that I guess my mind resorts to that..It is soooooo scary though..So, I totally understand..Please email me if you want to chat.....Jenniferc7@aol.com