I sleep 24/7 I am on morphine 24/7 chronic pain this has been me the past five years.I can barely get out of bed to wash my face. Howard Hughes comes to mind. I suffer from all of the list depression, anxiety, ocd, pts, etc. I have been hospitilized 2 times for a month at a time. Came out a zombie and no bettter off. I have been seeing a pscy since 91 but just seem to keep spending more and more on medication and now can't even get out of bed but every six months to go see him and get refills. I want my life back, wonderful husband who has put up with me for ten years. We were high school sweethearts 35 years ago. I did not have this baggage back then. I don't know how he does it but he trys to help and is at a loss. I was at one time the life of the party, always smiling, life was grand, then realized I was faking. Like the song, is that all there is!Abuse as a child-parents to this day don't believe me. Yea, like I want to be this way. I want to be able to go downstairs and play with my dogs walk out the front door and check the mail, go to the store by myself without thinking I am going to have an attack or be attacked. I don"t want to live this way there is no life in this way.I have put on 80 pounds this year, needless to say overweight now. All other issues, I can't believe I found this site, but I did when I saw Lucinda on TV and called tonight and the program is being sent to me, does it really work? Can I put this death of my soul to my past and become the person with a real smile.

Yes, yes, dear soul. It WORKS!!! I'm only on day 4 of this and already I've noticed big changes in myself. YOU NEED TO WORK IT! This is so important. Do EVERYTHING you're supposed to do. EVERYTHING!!!! Don't skip anything, do exactly what you're supposed to do. And pray, if you have a religious belief, PRAY. God is here, he will help you and so will we. Have faith in yourself. My life is turning around already!

dingo,
it worked for me and others and it can work for you...while i was doing the program.. i had some of the same issues that you have....i could not take walks,drive far,be in crowds,go to the store without feeling i was going to pass out..
here i was out of the military after 22 yrs.i had driven a transit bus for 10 yrs..wondered if i would be any better..
was going through a divorce.. got the divorce..
met my childhood sweetheart as i was going through the program... we are married and it will be 2 yrs in april...
your huband will stay behind you through this..you will have to take baby steps and as you go along it will work for you...
it took me until this year to feel like i was normal again...i was even driving while i had the panac/anxiety. i drove over 4 houses to see my g/f... it can be done...i went to the nascar race and even though i had to get up and walk around. i made it..
if you go somewhere do as lucinda says..sit at a place where you can get up and leave if you have to..take care and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers...keep in touch and let us know how you are doing...
don't just look for a way out..look for a way through it...
don

yes

I hope it works MC....I am hopeing so anyhow. Good Luck

Thank you all four your encouragment. I can see that this chat board is going to play a major role in recovery as well as the program. You know it is so true that we can't do it all alone. Yes God is with us always but sometimes we need that extra boost of encouragment that we might not be able to visualize him holding your hand at that moment. I will try to actively encourage all of you. I always was the cheerleader, go figure, the one that everyone evnies, if they only knew. My friends from high school never had any idea that I had any type of depression all the way back then. They are truly amazed but we do become master's of disquise, at least I always did because I had to be PERFECT Ha!!!!! When I realized perfect meant OCD I had to laugh at myself and the way I vacuumed the walls and always had the perfect home, the perfect outfit, everything perfect and you know when I finally got on meds in 91 and realized I did not have to be perfect and it was a sickness it was the greatest release off my shoulders. Now if I could just progress past that issue, let's see I have been working on getting myself in a real mess the past 15 years and now have to get out of it. I know just from the encouragment that we can all do it together and I don't even have the program yet. Hey, at least I am out of the bed typing this.