Hi guys,

Do any of you ever worry about developing conspiracies against humanity or weird theories of existence that would consequently render you insane? I know this sounds sort of odd. I'm just finding myself almost obsessing over things like "WHAT IF I began to think that I control everyone or that everyone's in a dream or that everything is happening just for me or that I'm God and need to know everything about the earth?" This is so totally STUPID though!! It bothers me because I was in to see a doc who told me that if I was insane, I'd be probably be saying things like "oh, you don't understand, they're all against me!" And so I started to worry the other day about BECOMING like this.

The fact that I'm even entertaining these thoughts in my mind ("what if this is a dream", etc?) makes me worry I'm on the road to mental illness. I don't enjoy them, they bother me, and yet I still WORRY that someday I MIGHT enjoy or believe them because -- well, what if it's true? And then I spiral back into my little hell! And then I was having some fearful thoughts about the PROGRAM too when I was in a real state...like what if they're brainwashing me and it's bad and...ugh!

Does anyone else experience this? Is it just my racing thoughts? I'd love your help!!!

Yes to all of your questions/concerns. I have experienced these thoughts. I'm not sure where it lies in the anxiety scheme, except that it makes me terribly anxious when I have them. I've posted some before about this, my mom is a schizophrenic, so I have obscessed about 'becoming schizo'. I would find that I would act (?) like my mom. She would be paranoid about being poisoned, people talking about her, etc... Anyhow, I would test myself and allow myself to think paranoid thoughts. (I'm guessing about this because I truly don't understand the behavior) Well when I did this it caused me severe anxiety and I would think OMG I'm becoming a schizo. I think it is just obscessing which is leads to the anxiety and around you go. I'm not sure if everyone with anxiety/panic experiences this or not. I know that going 'crazy' is a big fear for most people with panic disorder.

Remember this: People who are crazy or paranoid etc... DON'T WORRY about their condition or becoming that way because they truly believe what they think they don't question..oh that is not a good thought, what if, blah blah blah

trace