I just completed week 3. I know I have very neg self talk and as a result I have low self esteem most of the time and in most social situations. One of the things I had trouble with this week is to carry a spiral notebook a write down my neg thought. Truthfully, I was scared to. I did manage one and that is "If I start to write down my negative thoughts I will personalize everything." I think if I wrote everything down I would be to preoccupied with my thoughts and dwell on myself and actually fire the neg thought fire. Almost like turning on a fire hose.

Is anyone else having this difficulty???
What has worked for some of you???

I have found that sometimes I have negative thoughts at times like when I'm driving and unable to write them down. I do find it difficult to write a positive side to the negative thoughts. I brought my workbook and notebook with me to my therapist appointment and we worked on it together. I found it very helpful.

Well DaveM It is impossible to write down every single negative thought you have. It just isn't possible. Carolyn has suggested about 5 negative thoughts a day..the strongest negative thoughts you have. It is intresting how creative we can be with the same thoughts...We have alot of diffrent images and videos going on in our heads but there are common themes to them and by working on 1 thought you can work on hundreds at a time.

You seem to be worried about being preoccupied with your thoughts and dwell on yourself...let me ask you a question then. What are your thoughts doing to you right now? Where are you spending your time dwelling?

I think we've all had this struggle from time to time and what has worked for myself neways is to focus on accepting them first and then adding the other elements to overcoming them gradually.


Mike

Thank you both. I will be my workbook to my next therapist appointment, Babbers.
And Thanks Mike. I do have hundreds of neg thoughts a day, but it seem like there is a common theme. I have a lot of the the same neg thoughts I just put a differenet spin on them.
I am dwelling on beating myself up, calling myself names and such. I have tried to adpot and practice the skill in week 3, I just don't believe them yet.

DaveM,

I have begun week 3 and also have yet to write down my negative thoughts because I am afraid of what I might write down. I will try writing 4-5/day and see what happens. Maybe writing them down will help us overcome the fear associated with our negative thinking? I don't know about you, but I've been doing it for so long that it's second nature. We've got to turn it around.

Good luck!

I´m a very negative thinker as well, and I´m still learning how to deal with it. I found it helps to write down a few negative thoughts a day (writing down all of them are impossible, then I would have to sit and write most of the day...), and replacing them with something positive and TRUE (like others have suggested). Then focus on something else, preferably something positive.

For several weeks I focused on everything that I needed to work on, everything that wasn´t the way it "should" be with me, and I tried to "fix" it by working on every issue. This only created more anxiety because all my attention was on my negative thoughts and negative habits. I just realized that by dealing with my negative thoughts and habits WHEN THEY APPEAR, and then continuing with my day, focusing on what I CAN, LIKE, ENJOY, WANT, etc. my days are SO much better! It´s a lot easier to deal with the negative stuff this way.

It´s hard, but that doesn´t mean it´s impossible!! You can do it, and so can I! Others have done it before us! Good luck!

Ihave had a hard time starting this process as every time I even think about it It over welms me to the point of not being able to do it. I will try what some of you said and do a few a day. It seem if there were some one to talk to about the thaughts it would also maybe help me. I will try this week to write some of them down and replace them with the more soothing positive thoughts.

Your postings have inspired me to begin writing the negative thoughts down. So far, I have been trying to deliberately make mental note, but I know writing is a key. My issue will be dealing with the fact I have been negative for so long, which has resulted in years of self-defeating behaviour. Raising the conscious awareness of the negative tendency should greatly help overcome it in time! Good luck to all of you.

Would it be helpful if we posted some of our negative thoughts as they come up, and maybe others could make helpful suggestions (of course, only our negatives we're okay with sharing).

DaveM

I wonder if you aren't believing them because of how you word them. Could they be too generalistic to do anything for you?

Also I too am still working on the beating myself up bit. It can be a big struggle to overcome especially if you get these thoughts while trying to overcome a big limitation for yourself.

Here maybe this will help;

quote:

I am dwelling on beating myself up, calling myself names and such. I have tried to adpot and practice the skill in week 3, I just don't believe them yet.

Of course I am having a hard time with this, I've been doing this for a very long period of time and I'm stuck in this cycle right now. I may not be able to completely overcome these thoughts but I am putting the effort into it and that has to count for something. Is it really possible to keep putting in effort and have no results? Could I just be expecting to be completely over it all at once and filter out the progress?


Sometimes learning 1 part of the steps at once is better then trying to master them all at once. If you can learn to accept the negative thoughts first then maybe the rest will come more naturally.


Mike

I am an extremely negative thinker. I really need to stay aware of my thoughts because if I don't they can get negative very quickly. This is my second time going through the program. I can honestly say it has been just this last week that I have learned to breath through the thought.

I am now practicing concentrating on my breath rather than the thought. Then I follow it up with just thought only thoughts, I heard this on tape 3. It has helped me tremendously. I am now able to step out of the negative thought and see it for what it is a thought, nothing more.

I don't write all my negative thoughts down because I would spend the day writing. I try and work on the most frequent negative thoughts and it helps to see a theme to them.

Countering with a positive is sometimes difficult, it helps even to acknowledge at least your beginning to recognize them.

Take care and God bless.

Hello everyone,

I too have recognized how negative my thoughts really are. I have found that carrying a spiral notebook and recording and challenging as many thoughts as possible has been enormously beneficial for me. This is the first winter in five years that I have not been a victim to depression and uncontrolled worry. The program really does offer amazing tools for combating stress, anxiety, and depression. I think we need to be realistic though and acknowledge that we will only get the results we desire from the program if we are willing to make it one of our top priorities. I recognize that whenever I put off the program for a few days, whether for stress or time constraint, I begin to feel extremely anxious and depressed all over again. I'm currently going through this right now; however, I recognize that I feel this way because I haven't tried to challenge the negative thoughts and high expectations this weekend. My best friend just had a heart attack and I have been very busy snowplowing trying to make money to get me through next semester. I wish all of you my love and support and I'm willing to stay in touch with any of you whenever you need to talk. My e-mail is tragically_hip_37@hotmail.com.

-Benjamin Olthof

Hi Benjamin,

I completely agree. Our success depends on how we put Lucinda's suggestions into practice in our own lives. Sometimes when I read the suggestions I'm like, "Who has time for that?" But when I make the time I'm always glad I did. She knows her stuff.

I've been neglecting the program for the past few days as well due to the holidays and I have felt slightly more anxious. I hope by the end of the program we will be in the habit of thinking positively, etc., so that we won't need the program as a crutch.