OK - I'm 52yr and have never had any self-esteem. I constantly question my capabilities and competency and worry that someone will expose me for being "less than" I should be. (I've actually turned down a wage increase at one time because I didn't feel I was worth it!) My worst fear is being laughed at or ridiculed for who I am and/or what I look like. The funny thing is that others tell me that I am attractive and present myself as being totally in control and full of confidence! I'd give anything to see myself the way others apparently do ... Anyone else have this inside/outside thing going on ??

Canuck13

You are not alone on that one, canuck13! I think everybody has those type of thoughts to one degree or another, but people like you and me tend to let those thoughts get blown up too much and set our expectations of ourselves so high that we get into trouble.

i hate to say it but u both need to do something crazy and wild and then take a look around realize that most people in this world could care less about what u are doing and at that moment u will give urself the best gift of all - freedom from thinking about other peoples thinking - it is the greatest gift u can give to urself- u wil make them more afraid of u then u are of them - just go to the mall one day and do something crazy like asking a sales associate to cater to ur every whim - i mean every whim - have her run around looking for items and in the middle of her running around drop something and ask her to pick it up - u will be amazed at how the sales person will cater to u - at that moment u will see how it is ur own fear not the other persons reaction that is scaring u - i do caution u that the first few times this is attemped u may chicken out which is perfect;y normal - good luck

Good morning Canuck and others. I know how you feel and exactly where you are coming from. I too always question my abilities and competency and feel like someone is going to expose me for not knowing as much as they expect me know. This is a real challenge for me. I saw LjL's message. There is no way I would be able to pull that off without completely losing it!!!! Like you, I am also told how good I am at what I do and how in control I am, when actually I an freaking out inside. My thoughts overwhelm me and I feel the need to take off and run when I feel uncomfortable which is often( especially around groups of people). I am on session 2 of the program and have begun to see a psychologist as well. My anxiety is primiarily triggered by my job. I have been out of work for a while and am planning to return soon and this is causing me some anxiety as well. Can anyone offer any ideas on how to make this transition work?

Thanks