I started the program last friday so today is my 5th day. My life has been changing in leaps and bounds over the last few weeks and this past week has been an amazing transformation. To even imagine how much better this will get is very exciting.
I have been on many different medications and combinations of meds for the last 7 yrs battling with this anxiety and depression. I was on meds prior to this, over the years as well.
Anyways, this sounds to be old hat for most of us on here which blew my mind! I knew that is a pretty common and widespread issue. However, I didn't like to talk about with too many people. Most people seem to blow it off and talk about medication being overprescibed and people just looking for excuses and all the other negative talk (even when you find out later that they are on, or have been on, or will be on medication again themselves LOL) not that it's funny, but it just proves how embarrasing it is to admit that you are among this group that everyone seems to talk about so badly. But I knew I needed it and will probably still need it for a while. I(and my doctor) did decide to lower my dose and I have not had any negative sideaffects from it (YAY! First time EVER!)I have also re-established a personal relationship with God. I am not talking about "going to church" all the time or "preaching the word" or even practicing a "religion"... Don't get me wrong, I don't think badly about anyone who does, I actually admire those who have such strong faith! But many of those things really let me down in the past and I am needing to go through a very painful but healing process. Most important to me this time is to be honest with myself and to not pretend in any way, so I have been very full of raw emotion lately. I just feel it is time to open the lines of communication....on my end and to have a relationship with God. My own for now, just me and him.
Well, it has been wonderful to listen to session 1. The people on the CD I can actually relate to, so many of the situations and feelings that they have gone through I was amazed to find out that they had the same fears as I did. I have never heard of anyone talking about the dark, scary things that I have thought over the past years. I have a now 14yr old son and to know there is another person who was too terrified to bathe their child because of what they thought they "may" do, is incredible. I thought I was CRAZY and had never told anyone that I had gone through these "what if" thoughts, I honestly didn't know anyone else had these! And the guy who was afraid he would jump of the balcony...yeah, I get that "what would everyone think?!?!" I have been there so many times.
I am so glad that these session start with this! To know there is hope is more powerful than I could have imagined.
Thank you so much for this program...and again I am only on session 1!
trying to stay patient and wait to move to session 2 is driving me nutz, but I will do it because it will be worth it!

Okay I did it! My first post!(I hope it makes sense....
Thanks again

This message has been edited. Last edited by: dbuttercup,