I've been listening to the program and I am on week 8, and I haven't heard anything about people that have negative thoughts about other people. Does anyone else deal with thoughts that other people don't like them? I always feel like people don't like me or don't accept me, and I am afraid to socialize because of this feeling. I also deal a lot with the problem of judging other people. I constantly am finding flaws or what I percieve to be flaws with other people. Is there anybody anywhere that can relate to this??? Because sometimes I feel like I'm just the most miserable person in the world because of it. I haven't heard anyone in the program mention anything even similar to this, and I'm wondering if I've got a bigger problem then anxiety?? Thanks any input is appreciated.

Kathi, sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I for one can tell you that this is a definately something that alot of anxious people go through. Although the cds don't mention that specifically, as you go through the posts here you will see that this is an issue that is spoken of ALOT! I believe that it has to do with our self worth and how we perceive ourselves..definately "negative thoughts". Give yourself a pat on the back for recognizing it as just that, "negative thoughts". As you continue with turning the negative into positive that will also disappear. It's great to know that you are on week eight good for you. I hope this helps a little, you're NOT alone!
take care

you are not alone. I too have these issues. Lucinda does state in the program that we are people pleasers. . . . Remember the certain lady who was afraid to say no to anyone. Believe me you are not alone. Christi

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I haven't heard anything about people that have negative thoughts about other people. Does anyone else deal with thoughts that other people don't like them? I always feel like people don't like me or don't accept me, and I am afraid to socialize because of this feeling. I also deal a lot with the problem of judging other people. I constantly am finding flaws or what I percieve to be flaws with other people. Is there anybody anywhere that can relate to this???

What you have described is me. Reading this forum, I have a number of negative thoughts about those posting. I am sure the same is true about those who read my posts as well. I think this is very common. I also have the thought that if someone really knew me they wouldn't like me. I have a hard time socializing. I've had several run ins with one of my sister-in-laws husbands. I didn't provoke any of it. Don't understand why he got upset with me. I feel "not-okay" around my wife's family because of this. At times I feel "not-okay" with some of my posts, after I have posted on this forum. I think I've regressed some since going through the program about 3 years ago. I'd like to change, but not sure how to approach it.

One thing I have learned is to accept myself and others, negative, positive, whatever. It's okay to be who we really are while at the same time seeking to get better. I think what I need to do is something Lucinda has said on the tapes. That is, to try and have good thoughts about others even when I'm having negative thoughts. Try and think good towards them. Forgiveness starts with ourselves, but needs to extend to others as well. I think the more forgiving and accepting we are the less negative thoughts we have towards ourselves and others. I do think this relates to our self esteem and how we feel about ourselves.

One thing is for sure, you are not alone with these thoughts.

Kathi, good to read your post.
Yes, I have these very same problems.
I have a very hard time socially. I have all those thoughts that you mention.
I'm older now and I guess I don't try very hard any more.
That is, I just don't try to socialize too much,
because I have other physical problems now that
makes it more difficult.
When I just write to people, it seems that they like me okay. But my thougts are that if they knew me in person that they wouldn't like me. I don't consciously think that - but it is always there in my subconscience. Yet, when I correspond with someone I am, I feel, honest.
I think that I developed this low self-esteem in childhood.
I've had the program for over a year but haven't finished it yet. I get up to session 6 and kinda just stop.
I am content now. I think that comes with age a lot. (I'm 79). I'm not as judgemental as I used to be. I'm more accepting of myself.
But I still have what you are talking about.
I do know exactly how you feel.
Life was more difficult for me when I was younger.
I do take some medication.
I hope that as time goes on that you can overcome those feelings.
Oh gee! I'm sorry I don't have any advice.
Just know that I understand.
MaryJane

KathiK,
In the old program that I purchased in 1/2007, there were examples in lesson 3 and 4 of folks that allowed their negative thoughts to project a strong negative opinion about people after sensing something about them they did not like.
They talked about habitually avoiding these situations and people . While doing the program , they eventually recognized that their negative thoughts caused missed or ruined opportunities to get familiar with other potential good friends at a gathering.
Their expectation that they were to like or be liked by almost everyone caused a strong sense of fear and failure. Unrealistic expectations that were unreasonable or to much to expect caused them to work to hard at socializing instead of just talking and listening to folks at a gathering.
Lucinda and a gentleman named Ken are the two that I refered to in lesson 4 and 3 respectively.
See you are fine . Just don't stop hanging with people you like so you can build up your coping skills to deal with the ones you have a hard time dealing with.

The responses here are very insightful and helpful to me.
I am a Christian and the understanding that helps me the most to overcome this paranoia is to realize how much God loves me. He doesn't love anyone more, or less than me. I am His child and He sees me through Christ as perfect. If He sees me this way, who are others to judge me when it is not my intention to harm, but to care about others.
I know I make errors but I refuse to hold on to my mistakes to punish myself.