Why do I get upset when someone makes a negative judgment about me? Last Thursday my manager told me I was mean and that's why people treat me the way they do. It was an unkind remark, unfair, and untrue. But it still bothers me. I have gone out of my way to be nice to this man and he uses every opportunity he can to attack me. He attacks me when I speak up for myself and he insists that I accept poor behavior from others. I am working on having a better opinion of myself because my low self-esteem triggers my self-doubt and anxiety. His comment hurt and I am really trying to laugh it off and dismiss it because I know it has no merit. One saying I've used in the past is to consider the source; another is if the shoe fits, wear it...

Perhaps I’m upset because I didn't really respond to his comment; I just kind of gave him a questioning look because it surprised me to hear him say it. I can be quite outspoken and it’s possible he took offense to something I had said previously although I try to be careful around him because I know he finds every opportunity he can to say something negative about me. So I guess my issue is, it just seems that every time I work on thinking good things about myself; someone comes around and shares with me what they perceive as a negative characteristic on my part. Now mind you, I don’t think I’m perfect, nor do I want to be. I do, however, prefer to be judged fairly and accurately. I’m tired of being a pushover—available at everyone’s beck and call. All I ask for is some consideration and recognition and a right to be here—a right to exist. Is that asking too much?

WHY isn't important and is a way we waste our energy and distract ourselves. To answer your question from my perspective, the manager would be reinforcing my own negative self image and only I can do that to myself, so I'd get mad at him and pissed with myself for being too sensitive.

Bear