Does anyone else have issues with going on with the program. my husband says that he sees me bitching more now and upset now that I hve to face reality than I did before. he wants me back to the med's that I have been off of since last mar. my marriage is worse off now than it was when I hid in the closet (so to speak. ) I am tired. I dont know if I can make it.

Hi Hun,

You already know what I feel about the program and I also understand why you feel this way. I just PM'D you again a few minutes ago.
Please read it and try so hard to get calmed down for your sake. I truly understand it all, as you know but it can have a happy ending. Pray so hard for strength and DON"T EVER STOP FIGHTING!!!!! PLEASE...You are a precious gift and worthy of all you desire...just as we all are. We are all fighting so many issues, demons from the past & present. So many have beat all this and are now living the lives they only dreamed of. You have to fight this battle and not ever let failure be an option. This is one of the best fights you will have because the ending is going to be so much more than we can even imagine.
PLEASE BELIEVE IN YOU, NOT NEGATIVES FROM OTHERS.

((((HUGS))))AND PRAYERS...I WISH ONLY THE BEST FOR YOU!!

Hi njstme2, Please....Please....Please try to stay with the program. Don't let your husbands fear manipulate you. It will be difficult in the beginning facing all these issue's but it will be well worth it. I started to get anxious in the middle of session 3 and decided to get a coach. this maybe something you might want to consider. Just email the center for information. nlou

Hi Nj, I talked with you in chat last night for a little while remember? Ok, with that said, remind your husband that there is a line he said once which does carry alot of weight in any marriage, that line is:

"for better or worse"

Right now you are fighting the fears that have held you back for quite awhile, sure your going to get angry & gripe, that's only natural for most of us. I did it, so why not you? Why? Simple, I was mad at myself for letting a fear get to me for so many years that when I finally broke thru it felt sooooo good to be rid of it that I actually got angry at people around me and myself for not pointing that out to me before. I missed many years of doing a couple really neat things because of a fear which in reality was dumb.

As you move through the program, the bitching will lessen alot, a new you will start to emerge, nurture that new you, be kind to her, and in the end you will love the new you and do a dance that the old you is gone, forever.

Your husband has to understand, and it's tough for people who don't have anxiety like we do to understand anything, that you were in the closet for a long time and there is no magic pill that will cure you in a split second. He has to be supportive or just stay away (my wife stayed away from me basically while I went thru the program and it worked out great for both of us) and let you become you again only this time better than before.

Stick with it NJ, you can do this, I know you can.

I have to go, work calls but I'll stop in chat when I can and help you if you'd like.

David

nj, I have been doing support for those on the program for over 20 years. I have seen many spouses get very fearful of the changes they see. If I can be of help please email me at carolyn@stresscenter.com

Remember that we get into a "dance" with our partners...when we change the dance steps there are bound to be some stepped on toes.

Another question to consider - are you really doing what he is upset about? If so, are you using your techniques from lesson 7?

Let me know if I can be of help. There are some pretty great, caring people here on the forum-we are lucky to have company on our journey. Best regards, Carolyn

I am only on tape 3..

You will start to feel a big difference after session 4 most likely so long as you really do every aspect of the program as it's meant to be followed and do all the assignments and journaling is so very important. Talking to yourself in a loving, kind, caring way is also soooooo important. You have to fight all the bad thoughts you have been using for years. It gets to the point where it just happens without even thinking about it. It's all there for you..please just go into a quiet comfy place and listen carefully and don't stop until it all settles in. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!
You have time still, don't package it up..not yet. Make it work for you as so many have.

God Bless and give you strenght,