I have been attack free for quite some time however the past few weeks I have had alot on my plate. I have noticed whenever I purchase something kind of expensive I begin to develop anxiety. Well a man at work sold his motorcycle and he asked if my husband needed anything because everything he owns is brand new. Well he brought in a brand new Harley Davidson coat, chaps, gloves, boots, four helmets, and a Harley Davidson traveling bag. It is gorgeous stuff and my husband desperately needs the coat and chaps (after a bike/deer incident four years ago). So I got the deal of a lifetime but it was money spent and sure enough the anxiety soon followed.

So yesterday I could feel the body symptoms developing all day. I justified why everything was happening to me. I had started my period, I ate a ton of chocolate, I spent money, I have gained a few pounds and it is month end so I am swamped at work. Plus two weeks ago we won a trip to Chicago at my company christmas party so we jaunted off to Chicago for New Years and I am sure this is simply happening to me because all of those pressures are now gone.

So sure enough last night when I got home I began having the actual panic attack. Whenever I start to have one I feel the immediate need to tell my husband how much I care for him, how thankful I am that we are together, how grateful I am that he did the dishes, prepared dinner and walked the dogs, and I want him to know that I am truly happy. I sometimes feel that he might believe that I am having these attacks because I am unhappy. I know he doesn't believe that but I can't help thinking it during an attack. I also feel the need to phone my mother and tell her the same things.

This morning I resorted to taking a Klonopin which I am proud to say I haven't needed one in almost a year.

Hi Briggslady!

I think you are doing great! All you have had is a a minor set back. You recognized everything that would set you up for a panic attack. Your defenses are down. You are human! It's no big deal. We will always experience anxiety and/or depression at times. You now know how to view it and handle it different. It won't scare you anymore. You have come this far so you will never go back to how you were before the program. When you crave the sweets just remember it's okay... in moderation!

I too have felt anxious when I make a large purchase. Then I put up that stop sign and start my positive inner dialogue. For instance, I tell myself that's it okay. I have earned this and deserve it. I'm not anxious! I'm excited!!!

2~4,
rhythm/aka-dl