I think this one of my biggest down falls. I tend to be a very busy person, I'm working on slowing down but everytime I try there is always someone else who really needs you to help them out. If I say no, I feel guilty. If I say yes, I add more stress to myself. Either way I feel stressed and then I get anxious. How do I care for myself and feel guilty about letting others down?

Have you listened to the tape on assertiveness? It touches on that very subject

Taking care of yourself should be your first priority, especially now while you are learning new skills. Say kind words to yourself when you are feeling down. Don't beat yourself up, your not superwoman. When you get the anxiety under control you will be able to manage your time better. For now, just take a break and love on yourself. You are worth it. Something else that helped me with this problem was the thought that I might be robbing someone else of the opportunity to assist that person in need. Hope this helps.

Thanks you guys. I will listen to the tape on assertiveness and I definately need to stop trying to do everything for everyone else.

I just joined this sight. I finished the program 3 weeks ago. The guilt chapter still mystifies me. I can stop feeling guilty (about saying no) after completing the assertive chapter but how do you get people to stop trying to MAKE you feel guilty. The people in my life who so successfully got what they wanted from me with guilt, are getting so angry with me now that it doesn't work. I in turn have run wild with temper tantrums now. I know the program said that it's like a pendulum-you go from door mat to anger and land somewhere in the middle. How long does that take? Has anyone landed? And when do people figure out they can't put guilt trips on you anymore?
Thanks!