As im reading these posts, I understand I can relate to pretty much everything people are concerned about. But ever since March of this year I heard something on the radio about Multiple Personalities, and it scared the crap out of me, and ever since that day, I havent thought of anything else. Seriously! My whole life is consumed around the thought of me having that disease. And then I looked at some of the symptoms of that illness and it scared me even more because I do suffer from memory loss, but I am on Cymbalta, and I have derealization and Deperson. But then people just tell me that its just anxiety and I find relief for about an hour but then those scary thoughts come back and im back to where I started. Its like a never ending battle with me. I listen to tape 10, but I just still cant forget about those thoughts about me going insane. And then im scared that one day I will get amnesia and will just wonder around without knowing who I am and not recognize my family. My significant other broke up with me two days ago for practically no reason, and then I say to myself.."What if he noticed that im crazy and it scared him?"..(Im a gay guy).I havent even really thought about the break up becasue ive just still been consumed about me having some mental illness..Can anybody relate, or can anybody give me any tools to get over this? I would appreciate that. I just want to live and let go..but its so hard...

I hope you don't pay attention to these scary thoughts; just stick with the program. The tools you need are here. Don't skimp on the session time, and do all your homework. When you graduate, go back and do it all again. You'll eventually be comfortable with all the stuff you are talking about. I wish you the best.

It just makes me so mad. Im like "is this what my life has really come down to?"

No Doubt
Think Rationally. If you had not heard about that condition on the radio, would you be obsessing about it and believing you have it, NO! So this simply proves, it is anxiety, it is obsessive thinking, no more no less. This is what we{anxiety and depression sufferers} do, we take on things we hear about and begin obsessing about them. You need to keep doing the program, and know that you are fine. That this program is going to help you and try to put that stopsign up when you have these thoughts. If you hadn't heard anything about that on the radio, you would not be obsessing about it now. So don't worry, you are fine and you will be ok. It takes time, but don't give up you are on your journey to recovery. We all have obsessed about things just like you are doing and we are ok, we are fine. So you will be too. We are simply overly sensitive people, so be careful about what you watch on tv etc.
I try to avoid scary movies and the news, because I now know, I don't want to give my brain any amunition to start obsessing about stuff. Hang in there. I hoped this helped some.
Good Luck and keep trying to stay positive.
Your Friend
Angla