I feel as if my moods and thoughts are getting better! However, everytime Ithink about something positive in the future its as if something pulls me back and doesn't want me to enjoy it. I think it could be uilt or just anxiety thinking of fun positive things as if I was't deserving or something. Then it makes me think that those negative thoughts or that force pulling me back is actually me. But I continue to tell myself this is my anxiety/fear/depression or whatever it is and I really want and deserve those things. ANYONE EXPERIENCE THIS?

I think I can understand what your saying...

When positive uplifting opportunities present themselves and I'm truly excited about where I'm more than sure a natural serotonin uplift has occured I feel the tension in my body. My therapist calls it "Body resistance". Basically meaning that the body or well my body is resisting the good time! Or the opportunity to feel good because it is not use to it......so what does it do? It resist's with tension and muscle tightness which basically it now goes into an anxiety mode not panic mode but anxiety mode.......But I was taught keep exposing myself to positive and happy and uplifting things and sure enough a positive shift will happen with the body and the mind..True enough it does go away...but when its time to be happy in the present it does it again but then it goes away.......it is getting better and yes it does get better........Keep going for the beautiful moments that take your breath away..............

Blessings

I get pulled back all the time. FOr me, it's a learned behavior to think the worst and almost feel sorry for myself for what I've been through. Sometimes when things are good, it's too good to be true and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop so I miss the good times anticpating a bad time. Just got to turn that thinking around and think positive instead of the customary negatives!

Interesting what Believer08 brought up about the body resistance. I've been noticing the body tension sometimes now when I'm feeling really good. It's like the old thoughts are saying "hey, you can't feel good, you're not used to it" I've been trying to tell myself daily that it's OK to feel happy about something and it's Ok to feel good. It's a real eye opener to think that I actually believed I didn't deserve to be happy or feel good! Boy, how our thoughts twist things sometimes huh?