I need some feedback.

I am a gay woman, who, I am told by my therapist that I haven't completely accepted myself.

I disagree. However, I do feel guilty sometimes because I know that my lifestyle is not acceptable to my family. So, I find myself hiding it because I fear the reaction that they may receive from their friends. I find myself going out of my way to create a "boyfriend" so that it looks good to my family's friends.

I feel guilty sometimes because I can't be who my mom & sister really want me to be, even though they are more accepting, I know they really don't like it.

What do I do? I'm not going to be w/a man to please everyone else.

Don't know if this will help any, or not. But, I hope that it will. After I got divorced, most of my family kept hitting me with the question, "So, when are you going to get a man to take care of you?" It drove me crazy! First of all, I was in an abusive relationship for almost twenty years. So, going through the divorce, my thoughts were on finding "me". And taking care of my kids, of course. After awhile, I started falling into my family's way of thinking, that yes, it would be nice to have a man take care of me. But, still, there was that other part of me saying "No, you can make it on your own. Take care of yourself. Find you. That's that most important thing." So, for a few months I was having a horrible debate with myself. The "me" part won. I think I've finally accepted this in my mind and in my heart. It's harder trying to make it on my own, but I know I can do it. I have told my family that I'm not interested in "finding a man" right now. I hang around with supportive people who understand what I've been through and where I'm trying to go with my life. My family does NOT understand this, but that's okay. I either play it down or change the subject. AND, I do LOTS of self-talk to tell myself that I'm doing the right thing and it will all be okay. The program has helped me tons with this. I have anxiety and depression, but I'm getting better. I am on Lesson 5. Feeling MUCH better than I did before the program arrived in November. I hope these ideas will help you out. I will be praying for you.

TVGIRL1,

Hey it's time to be yourself. You are who you are. You have to be yourself. It's already miserable for you concerning the reactions you perceive from family and family friends,right?..Wouldn't it be easier and less stress and anxiety being yourself? It's got to be exhausting for you to put on a facade that isn't you. The problem is not yours to bear. To you it should be no problem-the problem is theirs and that's it- bottom line..Just be you and if someone has a problem with you being you then it is their problem. Maybe you'll be surprised by the reactions that you get and it might not be as bad as you are perceiving. If there is some tension or anything of the like you have to remember that change takes time and that means for other people too. You may have to adjust but more importantly they do.. I wish you the best. Take care

HI TVgirl.
This is the way I look at it. This is your own personal choice. This is what makes you happy, and this is who you are. Accept yourself, and if they love you they will love you for who you are. There are many times in our lives, that we might disappoint the ones we love, but this is only human nature. Its a part of life. So love yourself and be you, thats what makes us each unique. If none of your familys friends can accept it then you dont need them. You will always have your mom and sister regardless. They will love you unconditionally. Once you are more open with it, they will, with a little time, get "used" to it, and will more easily accept it.
A famous quote I once read from someone stated "This is your one and only life you will ever have, PLease yourself and make yourself happy because no one else can do it for you" And besides in 100 hundred years from now what you do today with your life isnt going to matter to anyone anyway cause we will all be gone. Thats what my moms says to me...lol.

Hello, I am a gay male so I can kinda relate to your story. But bottom line you shouldnt have to feel guilty for who you are, as long as your not hurting somebody or yourself...the rest of the world can go to hell