Hello everyone

This lesson has brought up a major guilt issue for me. You see....during my teen years I was HARDLY social at all. In my senior year of high school I had made a friend who had alot in common with me but one night he called me to invite me to a party he was throwing...and me being the major anti social kid i was...chickened out and said I didnt wanna go. This hurt his feelings I could tell and I feel really guilty now looking back on this.

I am now trying to be a b it more social since starting the program but I feel like beating myself up for not going to the party, maybe I still wouldve had his friendship and wouldve overcome my social anxiety or at least helped it...maybe i wouldnt have this degree of social anxiety if id said YES. I dont know how to feel on this one ....i have to let it go somehow but i dont know how

Justme1 ,

I don't think I was ever much of a social bug back in my school days either..You are right that this is something that you will have to drop and let go..Unless you invent a time machine and go back in time I don't think it is something that you can rectify..You maybe second guessing too much..Let's just say that you did go to that party..Let's say that you had a terrible time..maybe you would of been worse off because of that terrible time. Who knows for sure, right? There is one thing that might help though and I don't know how possible it is but here's my idea anyways. Get in contact with your old friend explain why you never went to that party..I think you will find that some people are more understanding than what you would ever think..I think that would take a little weight of your shoulders...I went to my 20 year H.S. reunion about a year ago and a lot of us talked about some of the things we had to deal with back then and I guess back then we always looked at some people and thought they had the life; they were popular and all that but at home their life was terrible (abusive parents and such )..It just looked good on the outside.. I guess what I am saying is that in school we were a little more self conscious and we didn't see or know the troubles that every one else had..Your friend might have his own things to share-you never know..Anyways that's about it with my ideas...

Take that back I have one more ...Lesson 3: Maybe you can write this all out and you can make ground in some closure. What I'm saying is let yourself let go through some writing-just another suggestion...

Another something to think about..Let me ask you this question for you to think about: Do you think that your old friend is still thinking of that party that you never made it to??? Chances are that he's not..That means it is just you that is worrying about it. Is it worth the trouble to concentrate on it and feel guilty for the rest of you life..Your answer should be 'no' ..Let it go ...

Okay, now I think I am done with all that I wanted to say-for now..You are deserving to let all that stuff go. You are the one that will take care of you the best. You have options to look at and I know that you will get past all this ..I hope I sparked your imagination and some of your creative thinking too..Best wishes and take care ...