Hello, I am trying very hard to be open and honest. I purchased this program after hearing Mrs Bassett describe me to a "T" on the radio. I have the program and now am fighting the "it won't work for me" mindset and "everything I ever tried to do for myself to help in the past failed, so will this". I know its wrong and if you believe you will fail you will prove yourself correct every time....

I am mad that I am going to once again pay money (I don;t have an abundance of) monthly for a program that "probably won't work".

Part of me wonders if not believeing it will work is a way to make sure it doesn't so I won't be let down.

I am terrified to death that my kids will wind up like me! My 13 year old son shows similar signs as myself (my 9 year old daughter does not)

My brother committed suicide last year. I should have seen it - but I let the alcoholism cover up the underlying cause (hindsight).

I don't know where to start or describe how I feel. I open this "door" and it all floods out. Makes me regret opening it at times.

I want help, but counselling hasn't helped (It's all just talk), Med's concern me and if I can avoid them I would like to.

So much to say - I don;t know where to begin - Does this make ANY SENSE or am I just babbling?

Jim

Jim,

Everything we do takes comitment, those of us on this board in the same boat as you are here for your support. Day1 start then day 2 and so on, it takes time and I too can be doubtfull, but come back here everyday and there is hope in these messages.

Scott

Dear Jim,

First off there is no such thing as failure, you purchased the program that in itself was a huge step so be proud you did it. For myself I had been seeing Lucinda's commercial for about 7 yrs on and off. I watched it every time because I felt like those people were talking about me and in fact they were I was those people. For many years I just didn't know what it was which is really scary. I had to move a year ago due to a death in the family and had to leave my home of 30 years and in the past year our family has lost 6 members. I left my job of 7 years and haven't been working since I moved. I still bought the program. Why you ask? Well let me tell you our lives are worth a heck of alot more then this program costs. We deservet to feel better no matter how much it costs. I have suffered since I was 7 years old from many things which I won't go into details but lets just say I have 4 grown children and I can see in three of my children some of my traits they watched me go through as children you will get to the point in the program to guide you with those issues, Just be patient and never ever think you don't deserve to get better and be able to live in the "Precious Present Moments" afterall they are all we have. I am 41 yrs old and for the first time since I was 7 I am feeling things that I never thought possible. It was tough going at first THIS I know. I stopped coffee,pepsi and watch how much sugar I take in now, I'm drinking alot of water each day and for me that is saying alot. I'm out in life evjoying it for the first time in my life and I KNOW you will find it as well. Just work the program like you've never worked anything in you're life. If will get easier and what ever you do JOURNAL each day, Just let it all flow out even if you think it don't make any sense. If I can be of any help at all please send me an email. Just remember you are NOT ALONE!!!!!

Thanks for the support, I know I read these posts and I know the support is there, it just gets so confusing...I am 41 also, and have identified an issue since I was about 30. Looking at it, I can trace it back to my younger days (7+) and can see it is hereditary. Other than a few family members,. no one else sees it or understands it and looks at me like I am crazy. "Just snap out of it" is the usual response. I listen to the tapes and the testimonials, and like you, I see me. Low (no) self esteem, the only thing that matters is what others think, no "me" time because that is being selfish, etc...
I listened to the cd in the car on the way to work, I'll stick with it! I'm tired of feeling this way, I am just so tired......

Thanks

Jim

Jim,

Take it one day at a time ONLY ! Don't look ahead. The way I look at it is that for every day I spend on this program, it's one day closer to a life I know I deserve. Everything will work out for you. If you have a bad day, it's no big deal. Continue the program the next day. Take the steps to not be so tough on yourself anymore. I'm on week 3 now (after having the program sitting on the shelf since 1999 !!!!). The only regret I have is not doing this sooner. It's the best investment I've made for myself.
If you have a tough time, log back in and type away !

Dave

I was suffering from anxiety that led me to depression. I have had this condition for 30 years. I tried so many things. Different individual therapies and group therapies, self help books and medication (even if I would of preferred not to take any form of medication.

Believe me this works. I started this program at the end of July of this year and I am now on my 14th session.

This program has really changed me. Like you at the beginning I was very sceptical (scared to have hope that I would get better, but at the same time scared that the program would not help me and then I would feel disappointed and start being depressed again (

Please believe me THIS PROGRAM REALLY WORKS !
I am doing really good. Like you at the beginning I had my doubrs but I took it one day at a time. Please do not be harsh with yourself. I wish you the BEST !!

Jim,

One thing I keep reminding myself of is I didn't get this way over night and I won't get better over night either. I never took time for myslef if I did I felt guilty. I no longer feel that way because we all deserve to have our time. It's a must, even if you just go for a walk by yourself. The relaxation CD is really a powerful tool in helping yourself calm down. Be gentle with yourself, when you start to feel anxious esp. if it's something you've been avoiding for a long time. Tell yourself it's okay to feel this way because I've not done this for awhile and go with it, the anxious feelings will pass I promise! I know I'm only on session 9 but I'm feeling and thinking in ways I never thought possible. You have a wonderful support system here and use it as often as you need. Remember,Jim...You are not ALONE...MisEmilysPicture@aol.com

quote:

I listened to the cd in the car on the way to work, I'll stick with it! I'm tired of feeling this way, I am just so tired......

Good morning Jim,

"I'll stick with it!" is a very positive statement. Hang onto that! With that, you are on your way. Your story brings a tear to my eye and warms my heart because #1) as do most of us here, I know the feelings you are experiencing all too well; and #2) I see such wonderful results in just a few weeks, and I just love to see someone else find what I have. And it is by the skills communicated and taught in this program.

This program can only be what you choose to allow it to be; it is what you make it. People who follow it and apply the principles are going to see results; those who don't will not. It's an individual choice. It'll change your life, but only if you let it!

Jim, we choose the person we want to be; nobody forces it upon us. I chose to change because I didn't like the person I was: fearful, horribly nervous, bullied, angry, mean, powerless, sad, lonely, a victim.

Like you I was skeptical, and didn't really want to fork over that kind of money. While on the phone ordering the program I actually had the person I spoke with read exactly what was in the program to make sure it applied to me. It did. Just yesterday I realized that one cannot really put a price on what you can get from this life-changing program, and God bless Lucinda and her partners for their passion and caring enough to bring this to other hurting people.

I thought that for sure I'd be returning it. But it arrived beautifully packaged, really professionally done, and I'll be darned, there are so many aids and helps that if you use even half of them you'd have to make a concerted effort for it NOT to work!

As Lucinda says, "The only failure is not trying!"

Please, Jim, take this very slowly and let each lesson marinate and sink in. Allow yourself to experience all the feelings you have. Though they don't feel so great, if we didn't have them we'd have no material with which to learn the skills!

It is easy to see a little result and want to charge full-speed into it. But I recognize the tremendous long-term value in approaching it very slowly and methodically. That is crucial.

Also, I'd like to encourage you with something they indicate, but that is easy to overlook. YOU MAY FEEL WORSE AT FIRST. I did!!!!! It was horrible! You may be experiencing that. It is bad enough that you feel lousy, and then to feel worse...? YUCK! But that doesn't last! It really doesn't. So please don't let that deter you. Do what you said - be patient with yourself and stick with it. You won't regret it.

Lucinda is very gifted in presenting the sessions. She gets right to the core of the issues. The guests are equally helpful.

I've only been using the program for three weeks, and already I feel immensely more calm and relaxed, and even happy to start my day. People have commented about it and I've said nothing about the program to them. I don't mind being alone as much, and things don't upset me nearly as much. And it is the most natural thing; it's not contrived or forced. Sometimes I almost don't notice how differently I react to things. And I'm only starting out!

I'm so glad I read your post. I wish you the best in your journey!

soften

Thanks so much for all the positive comments. I don't know what to expect. I do expect instant gratification with things like this, so when I don't feel relaxed during the relaxation tape, or don't feel any different 2 days into it, the negativity takes over.

Let me ask all of you, I listen to the CD's and look at the "symptoms list" and I say "yeah, I have that" or "yeah, I feel that way" but then I start asking myself if I really do, or am I just thinking I do, or putting more emphasis on something that isn't there to "fit in with the description" better? It seems so confusing.

The relaxation tape helped a little, but when it came to the breathing, I had a hard time controlling it, almost to the point where it was making me more stressed trying to slow my breathing. I didn't feel the "warmth" no matter how hard I tried - I must be nuts!!!

It all seems so "out there" right now. I so want to be able to speak like the people on the tapes and all of you on this site, it just all seems so far away and I get so cynical that it isn't going to work, that I start to worry it won't because I am mentally not allowing it to. I keep asking myself "how do I feel" and I always feel "on edge" and "not relaxed" but is it because I am, or because I am constantly thinking about it????

Oh well, I shall persevere!!! I am in this for the long haul! The job and the economy don't help the anxiety. Thanks for letting me incoherently babble ;-)

Jim

Jim,

You are probably like most of the rest of us here. Pay attention to the parts that tell you to give yourself permission to feel this way.

Reading through your post I conclude that like a lot of us, you are very technical. People like us tend to overanalyze EVERYTHING, and it drives us bonkers. We are extremely tuned into our feelings, and how "wrong" we feel all the time. That is one of the hard things to let go of - overanalyzing it all. I stressed myself out with that in the beginning--so much that I became physically ill. That is the "what if" thinking Lucinda speaks of, which gets your mind spinning and drives you nuts. (What if I'm not really getting it? What if I don't really feel the way I think I do? What if I'm doing the relaxation wrong? What if I CAN'T relax? What if it's because I keep thinking about it? What if this doesn't help at all?) Well, we won't know if we don't embrace it and try. And we've taken the biggest step. We're here. That in itself says a lot about our dissatisfaction with our quality of life and our determination to change it.

Breathe.

Let it be okay that you are thinking and feeling this stuff, and then you can start gently telling yourself that you are just starting out. I know it's hard to let anything imperfect be okay, but even if you are only able to do it for five seconds before being gripped again, that's a start. Hold onto that victory. Hold onto EVERY little victory. A little kid can't expect a college degree on his first day of kindergarten; neither can we expect to have this stuff mastered out the gate. Ha! But we do, don't we? I'm like that too. And it's because we're intelligent people who are able to grasp complicated or technical concepts fairly quickly.

If you are "nuts" about the relaxation CD then so am I because I can't feel the "warmth" either! But so what. We're not nuts; we're just different than others. We all experience things differently. Dwelling on that will make you miss the good stuff. When I found myself squirming a little, and striving to "feel" this "warmth" I realized that if I continued to focus on that I'd miss what was important. So I let it be okay that I don't feel it and focused on the rest. I figure that maybe some people "feel" it and it helps them. It just doesn't do anything for me. So what? I'm different. Maybe I'll feel it some day, maybe not. Doesn't matter. You have to make the session yours. Breathe at your own pace, and remember what Lucinda says, "You may feel weird and silly about telling yourself positive things when you might not really believe them at first, and you may feel like you don't "get it" at first." Just let that be OKAY. Tell yourself it's okay. Keep telling yourself that, and come to trust that. Oh, guess what? Not only don't I "feel" the warmth--I can't "see" the forest or "hear" the water or "smell" the fragrant flowers and earth. Good thing they didn't tell me to taste something or I'd think I was dead!! :-) Oh well.... nice if some folks can relate to those things. And I don't feel as relaxed as I think I can be, but I let that be okay too, because I recognize that it still does help. And any little bit is a good thing.

I am having a HORRIBLE day today. I could crawl into a hole and beat myself down. Instead I chose to say, "Well, I screwed up. But so what? I'm still okay, and life will still go forward and I can learn how to do it better next time. Each step back is a learning opportunity on how to keep moving forward. I'm still new at this; I'll get better at it the more I do it. I don't always get it right, and that's OKAY!"

Telling myself that stuff helped me stop kicking myself for my error and yanked me out of an oncoming depression.

The fact that you posted your feelings, fears, and frustrations here, and that you've made the commitment to persevere, and are continuing to work at it even though you are frustrated, is all good.

Anyone with that kind of determination is going to succeed. But you need to tell yourself that you WILL succeed, and then find a way to convince yourself it's true, and that is by reminding yourself that you are an intelligent human being, and that just like any other person you deserve to feel good and content.

Just breathe, Jim, and remind yourself that you are a highly capable person, and that tomorrow will still come. Watch for every little sign that something has helped. Then cling to that, and revel in the satisfaction that you've made progress.

I hope that you find some encouragement among my many words. That's just me... I have to write.

Cindy (upstate NY)
How's Jones Beach?

Jim,

First, congratulations on getting the program and thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us.

Second, I'd like to share something with you. The CDs sound silly and corny to me. And the relaxation CD - I don't feel any warmth and sometimes I think I'll suffocate if I keep trying to breathe with my abdomen.

Fortunately I had the pleasure of attending a few AA meetings with a friend of mine a couple months back and something they said really stuck with me. Most of the recovering alcoholics said they thought AA was stupid when they first started it. They didn't believe it would help; the steps were all too warm and fuzzy. But once at rock bottom, they decided to give it a try and discovered when they worked the steps, the steps worked for them.

That has been the key for me and this program. Success isn't in getting it right or even in understanding it...if it were I have a feeling we would all have been top success stories after day one. Success is in actually working the program. That's why it is important to take it slow, because you actually need to do what the program says. Perfection and understanding don't matter, action matters.

I'm on week two of session five. I was sick on week one and couldn't do the homework. For most of that week I heavily debated whether I would just keep chugging through the program, after all I understand why diet and exercise are important and isn't that sufficient? The answer, NOPE! Because understanding won't change my diet and get my lazy butt off the couch. I can't reap the benefits of a healthy lifestyle if I don't actual practice the actions of a healthy lifestyle.

As for the relaxation tape, instead of breathing the way Lucinda instructs on the tape, I just focus on a deep breathing rhythm that is comfortable for me because, after all, relaxation is the key. I found when I stopped trying to get the breathing right I finally was able to relax.

Anyway, please keep posting and reading. Everyone here is very encouraging and it helps knowing we are all in this together

Katie

Jim, Hang in there. We have to take things one step at a time. It will get better for all of us, I really believe this. This program found all of us for a reason!

I like to see all the encouragement here. I did not get the warm feelings either or I could not see the trees etc. The relaxation Cd has help sometimes and other times it has not. Are we suppose to listen to all 3 of the progrmas at 1 time? At the end of lesson 3, Lucinda says to listen to the relation CD 3 times...does that mean a total of 9 times?

I am actually going to go through the program again. I had a 2 yr break up, which for some unknown reason, I am a nervous wreck. I was not even sure this was the girl for me, but now I cna't eat, sleep etc. It have been about 1 month. I did not know I should feel this badly. I not sure I felt this badly when my 16 yr marriange broke up. But this change has affected me, so I thougt I would need a refresher.....I hope it works!

Tom,

I was confused as to why the relaxation session is on the tape three times too. But I think they mean listen to one 15 minute block three times a day.

I'm sorry to hear things are so tough for you right now. Going back through the program is a good idea. I'll keep you in my thoughts and pray you start to find some peace.
Katie

Thanks for all the great feedback. It does help, and I have to admit, it is really odd to hear people saying how they feel and be able to say "wow, I feel that way" too.

Today was tough (still is). I went to sleep last night listening to the relaxation tape, it relaxed me a little. When I woke up, within 5 minutes I was getting wound up with thoughts of work, and then BAM! an email from work and I was on the fast train to craziness and anxiety. I had to focus to keep me level, and I did catch it, but I am holding at a moderately anxious level, a little anger/frustration. I wonder why I was so easily set off this morning? Why did I wake up this way? I did all the things that I have been told this morning, and it did prevent me from going overboard, but, as many have said, I don;t truly believe what I am saying and thinking. I say it, but it is just words. I say I will be fine, but I hear the "background noise" saying otherwise. I trust this gets easier......